just gonna say it again
A) you dont have to clarify that “not all asexuals are sex repulsed!!!” when you talk about asexuality. there is NOTHIN WRONG with being sex repulsed. i am sex repulsed so ya’ll kinky queers can frickin deal
B) why do people always have to frickin say that some asexuals do have sex? like why? people are allowed to frickin never ever have sex and hate it and think its gross like why is this such a hurdle, i just get twitchy when eeeeeevery ace awareness post/cutesy comic/etc HAS TO SAY that some aces fuck like its important
You’re acting like clarifying all the different sides to Asexuality is a bad thing, and as you’ve pointed out here, people clarify the some Asexuals are sex repulsed AND some have sex. Clarifications like these are a good thing. Just because someone is pointing out that not all Aces are sex repulsed doesn’t mean they are bashing those who are. By pointing out some aces are not virgins is not putting negative value of those who are still and likely will remain to be.
This is to answer/stop the very common questions of:
'Oh, so you hate sex?'.
No, not all aces hate sex. Some are repulsed by it, some are not.
'Wait, you're not a virgin, you can’t be Asexual.’
Yes, you can. Some aces still do have sex.
Actually, your attitude seems far more judgmental than the well meaning people pointing out all sides to Asexuality.
clarification =/= judgement
edit: in response to some pompous tone-policing weiner who responded to this, clarification isn’t useful when it’s effectively just being a butt-pat for the status quo. the same way responding to “all lesbians are hairy smelly manhaters” with “no some lesbians are FEMININE and love men too!!!” is an unnecessary clarification that engages with toxic belligerence as opposed to addressing it for what it is, so is “some aces have sex/aren’t sex repulsed”, its not something we need to clarify, and when ppl dignify that shit with a response every time its just enforcing the status quo that there is something wrong with those things when people dont use it as an opportunity to point out what a fucked dichotomy it is that hating sex is seen as unacceptable
When clarification is used as appeasement, then yes, the appeaser is missing the point. If someone is being a git and saying things like “So you hate sex? That’s fucking weird.” and you reply with ” Oh no, sir. Some aces are not repulsed! :) “, then you haven’t done anything. In fact, as you pointed out, you are throwing those who are sex repulsed under the Social-Norms-Bus and letting that git get away with their bigotry.
I wasn’t clear with my examples above and I apologise for that. I was intending them to act as simple examples of common questions and responses, and not necessarily in a bigoted way, but rather misinformed. Naturally, in cases like that, you’re going to get follow up questions and discussions where you can address the under lying issues and narrow-mindedness. The first example I gave, afterall, was pretty much the exact thing you just pointed out the problem with.
What I was meaning to point out was: facts are still the facts. Differences in sexual attitudes among the Asexual community are varied. When explaining to people what asexuality is, then such clarifications are needed because they are a truth and it’s also necessary. If you do not clarify that Sex repulsion or virginity are not criteria for being asexual, then people learn a definition of asexuality that excludes people who are asexual. Hence the problem with the second example, which may not be bashing virgins or sexually inactive people at all, but is rather people being confused with the definition of asexuality.